


cross my heart, never die

by rampant



Category: Daredevil (Comics)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21880423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rampant/pseuds/rampant
Summary: Sam returns to America a changed man.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	cross my heart, never die

Sam hears the front door of the apartment open. Someone gasps. He doesn’t need to look to know that it’s Hannah. The only other person who would come up here is-

Sam stops his train of thought immediately.

His sister closes the door with a huff. “It’s about time you came home,” she says.

He hears the thud of her boots falling as she takes them off, of her humming softly as she pads towards the kitchen. He doesn’t respond. He is lying down on their couch, one arm covering his eyes, trying to get the last bit of rest in.

Hannah opens the fridge.

“I could say the same about you,” he finally replies. _Wǒ de fucking mèimèi,_ he thinks, half irritated and half charmed. He didn’t realize how much he missed her. He’s been here pretty much all day and hasn’t seen her until now. “It’s what, 12 AM? Don’t tell me you were at the club.”

“Closing shift. Believe it or not, I got a job while you were in China.”

Oh. He feels a curl of guilt rise in him. Hannah didn’t have anyone there for her when he was in the hospital or when their mom took him. Now that he thinks about it, he isn’t sure how she knew where he was. He wonders, a little afraid of the answer, just how long he has been away.

“Guess you’re all better,” she continues, her voice slightly muffled by food. A dip in the couch near his feet tells him she’s now sitting there. “Does this mean I can quit now?”

His guilt gets quickly replaced by irritation again, this time with none of the charm. He sits up to face her. “It wouldn’t kill you to work, you know.”

He reacts faster than her. He has time to take in Hannah’s dishevelled hair, which she has never allowed to happen before, barista uniform, something he never thought he would see on her, and takeout box, leftovers that she always steals from him, before her eyes widen when she finally realizes what she’s looking at. She gapes at him. Sam realizes belatedly that he should have seen this coming.

She swallows. “What the _hell?_ What on earth is wrong with your eyes?”

He doesn’t blame her. His new eyes are blue on black sclera and they _glow,_ the complete opposite of what they were before. His new appearance must terrify her. Still, he doesn’t want to explain what happened to him. Not tonight, at least.

He thought he could do this, but he can’t. He needs to leave right now. He stands up. “I’m going on patrol.”

“Wait!”

Sam pauses at the doorway.

Hannah is looking at him, on her face a weird expression, one he has never seen before from her. She’s clutching the takeout box tightly, close to her chest. “Where’s mom?”

He clenches his fists. He can’t do this.

“She’s not here.”

With that he slips out, the door closing gently behind him.

He swallows a scream. He refuses to believe that his mom is dead. No, the Beast isn’t done with him yet. She isn’t dead.

Sam takes the stairs two steps at a time. On the roof, he unlocks the shed to find his stuff covered in a fine layer of dust that picks up when he moves things around. He waves a hand in front of his face, coughing. Ugh. He’d have to clean this up later. For now, he dusts off his chair as best as he can, then sits down. He leans forward, elbows on the desk, and covers his face with his hands.

It’s not that he’s not grateful for Lu Wei’s sacrifice. In fact, he can see better now than he ever had before. In the day, he notices things at far distances as if they were right in front of him. At night, even with the lights off, he can see in complete clarity. He sighs, slowly sliding his hands down his face. Yet, somehow, everything still looks so _dark._

_It didn’t have to end this way._

He’ll deal with his feelings later. He holds up his suit and examines it, carefully searching for any rips in the inky material. Satisfied, he opens a drawer and starts fumbling for working batteries. After a few seconds, he finds some. He makes a mental note to buy more later.

He really hopes Hannah doesn’t quit her job just yet, because he has no idea how he will make a living now. Or more specifically, how he will keep his eyes a secret. Assuming they aren’t aware of his… accident, he supposes he could still work shifts at Columbia. No one pays attention to janitors. That is, of course, if they haven’t fired him yet.

Sam turns his attention back to the suit. There’s a massive gouge running across his mask and he can’t remember how he got it. He traces it slowly with his thumb. It’s jagged, sharp to the touch. He sort of likes it, like someone might like a cool scar. It runs quite deep though, so he’ll have to fix it unless he wants his mask to break in the middle of a fight.

He can forget about working at the DA’s office. Even if Mr. Murdock - Daredevil - whoever - lets him, even if he is invited to, welcomed, he wouldn’t accept the offer. His pride will not let him. Even now, after everything, he feels so many emotions: fury mostly, but also frustration. Resentment. Guilt. He tries to feel the last one towards _him_ as little as possible, but it’s still there.

Sam slips into his suit and puts the mask on. He stretches, rolling his shoulders back, then bringing his arms up above his head. A push of a button on his wrist makes him disappear from view. He hasn’t done this in a long time, hasn’t been here in a long time, but he will never forget what Chinatown looks like, or what its people mean to him.

Mr. Murdock brought him back to America. Daredevil would testify in court for him. That is enough.

And now, he has people to look after. Their “ghost brother” is back.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Wǒ de fucking mèimèi:_ A funny (at least I think it is) mix of mandarin and english. Means "my fucking little sister."
> 
> I hope Sam shows up in a comic again, I miss him. Thanks for reading.


End file.
